Great Movie Quotes: I Heart Huckabees

I was watching I Heart Huckabees yesterday and that movie rocks. It's about existentialist detectives, Vivian and Bernard Jaffe, played by Lily Tomlin and Dustin Hoffman, who figure out the key to people's realities. The protagonist is Albert Markovski, played by Jason Schwartzman, and his arch nemesis is Brad Stand, played by Jude Law. The best person might be Mark Wahlberg who plays Tommy Corn, the anti-petroleum prophet who tells everyone what time it is. (Metaphorically, not literally.) And he's hot and gets Naomi Watts - the miserable, pretty Huckabees spokeswoman who finds liberation in "looking like an Amish bag-lady." So not only is this movie hilarious, but it also has interesting philosophy thrown in.

To wit:

Vivian Jaffe: Have you ever transcended space and time?

Albert Markovski: Yes. No. Uh...time, not space. No, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Albert Markovski: The interconnection thing is definitely for real.

Tommy Corn: It is! I didn't think it was! It is!

Albert Markovski: I know, I can't believe it, it's so fantastic!

Tommy Corn: It's amazing!

Albert Markovski: I know.

Tommy Corn: But it's also nothing special.

Albert Markovski: Yeah, because it grows from the manure of human troubles.

Mrs. Hooten: So Tommy, what do you do?

Tommy Corn: I'm a firefighter.

Mr. Hooten: Congratulations, you're a hero.

Tommy Corn: I'm no hero. We'd all be heroes if we stopped using petroleum!

Cricket Hooten: Jesus is never mad at us if we live with Him in our hearts!
Tommy Corn: I hate to break it to you, but He is - He most definitely is.

Dawn Campbell: Brad, do you love me?

Brad Stand: I think so.

Dawn Campbell: With the bonnet?

Brad Stand: Ehhh...

Bernard Jaffe:

• Say this blanket represents all the matter and energy in the universe, okay? This is me, this is you, And over here, this is the Eiffel Tower, right, it's Paris! When you get the blanket thing you can relax because everything you could ever want or be you already have and are.

• There is no such thing as you or me.
  
• There's no such thing as nothing.

• There is no remainder in the mathematics of Infinity.

• Your mind is always occupied on something...so it may as well be something helpful.