Great Songs - Sexy Can I? by Ray J

Hey Friends,
My new favorite song is "Sexy Can I?" by Ray J (thanks to Alis for introducing it to me). Don't bother listening to the lyrics because they are rather vulgar but the beat is awesome.

Men's Issues

So today I was talking to my friend Renna and she explained the Madonna/whore complex in a way that I was never able to understand before. Apparently some men, especially those who have had issues with their mother, had their hearts broken, or have womanizing fathers, find it easier to separate women into two categories: those they like and respect (Friends) and those who will sleep with them (Hos). Reconciling the two requires that men open up their hearts and take the risk that they fall will hard for their woman (for how could they not love someone they admire, respect, and love to sleep with?). And if they really like the person and feel they aren't deserving of her affections then they probably fear abandonment like whoa.
Ah, fear. The enemy of love.
But Yay! I am a smarter person today than I was yesterday!

Stonewall Inn, 1969

Today, June 27, is the 39th anniversary of the clash between patrons of the Stonewall Inn, a New York city gay bar, and the NYPD which launched the gay rights movement. The riots/demonstrations lasted five nights after a 1:20 a.m. police raid of the Stonewall Inn of 53 Christopher Place in Greenwich Village. It was the first time that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people bonded together and demanded respect.
Hurrah for the movement! Hurrah for GLBT respect!
In honor of Stonewall, gay pride parades are held the last Sunday of June. I hope that I can go to Chicago's this year. I have never been.

Current Favorite Songs

When I babysit little Daniel we play Beatles songs - I try on the piano and he soundlessly on the bass guitar. His favorites are "When I'm Sixty Four", "Twist and Shout", "All You Need is Love", "Hello, Goodbye." Daniel, who is three, will ask which Beatle sings each one. Last time I asked him what my favorite song was and he lisped "Amazing." I laughed with delight because he had noticed that I'm always fumbling with the score to "Maybe I'm Amazed."

Here is why I like the song: it's about a person who is confused - in the middle of something that she/he doesn't really understand - which is the way I feel all the time! And the singer is grateful for his woman who is there for him even if he doesn't deserve it. Apparently Paul McCartney wrote it for Linda. And since that was a love that lasted until death it gives the song credence.

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time.
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pull me out of time
You hung me on the line
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

Maybe I'm a man
Maybe I'm a lonely man who's in the middle of something
That he doesn't really understand.

Maybe I'm a man
And maybe you're the only woman who could ever help me.
Baby, won't you help me to understand?

Great Movie Quotes: I Heart Huckabees

I was watching I Heart Huckabees yesterday and that movie rocks. It's about existentialist detectives, Vivian and Bernard Jaffe, played by Lily Tomlin and Dustin Hoffman, who figure out the key to people's realities. The protagonist is Albert Markovski, played by Jason Schwartzman, and his arch nemesis is Brad Stand, played by Jude Law. The best person might be Mark Wahlberg who plays Tommy Corn, the anti-petroleum prophet who tells everyone what time it is. (Metaphorically, not literally.) And he's hot and gets Naomi Watts - the miserable, pretty Huckabees spokeswoman who finds liberation in "looking like an Amish bag-lady." So not only is this movie hilarious, but it also has interesting philosophy thrown in.

To wit:

Vivian Jaffe: Have you ever transcended space and time?

Albert Markovski: Yes. No. Uh...time, not space. No, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Albert Markovski: The interconnection thing is definitely for real.

Tommy Corn: It is! I didn't think it was! It is!

Albert Markovski: I know, I can't believe it, it's so fantastic!

Tommy Corn: It's amazing!

Albert Markovski: I know.

Tommy Corn: But it's also nothing special.

Albert Markovski: Yeah, because it grows from the manure of human troubles.

Mrs. Hooten: So Tommy, what do you do?

Tommy Corn: I'm a firefighter.

Mr. Hooten: Congratulations, you're a hero.

Tommy Corn: I'm no hero. We'd all be heroes if we stopped using petroleum!

Cricket Hooten: Jesus is never mad at us if we live with Him in our hearts!
Tommy Corn: I hate to break it to you, but He is - He most definitely is.

Dawn Campbell: Brad, do you love me?

Brad Stand: I think so.

Dawn Campbell: With the bonnet?

Brad Stand: Ehhh...

Bernard Jaffe:

• Say this blanket represents all the matter and energy in the universe, okay? This is me, this is you, And over here, this is the Eiffel Tower, right, it's Paris! When you get the blanket thing you can relax because everything you could ever want or be you already have and are.

• There is no such thing as you or me.
  
• There's no such thing as nothing.

• There is no remainder in the mathematics of Infinity.

• Your mind is always occupied on something...so it may as well be something helpful.

James McAvoy redux

James McAvoy was Jon Stewart's guest on the Daily Show tonight. Now he is a panty-dropper. That accent, the eyebrows, the dark hair, the melting brown eyes, wicked sense of humor. He looked good in his jacket. Jon Stewart loved McAvoy's new action movie, Wanted, which I might actually go see even though a) I don't usually see action flicks or b) like to see Angelina Jolie act. But for the pleasure of staring at his face magnified 25 times I would pay $10.50. Rather, I would go on a date with someone who would pay for the movie and pretend I think my date is hotter than James McAvoy.

When she saw him on the Daily Show, my mother said, "He's not all that good-looking." I shushed her. I love my men non-traditionally handsome and funny.

Coming Out and Self-Acceptance

Good news, gentle readers. Tonight I managed to coerce myself into painting for an hour. This required bribing myself with a large chai tea latte (current luxury drink of choice). Unfortunately, I found that I did not clean up thoroughly after the last painting session so had to spend more time de-gunkifying solvent wells than painting. It's so hard to throw out supplies that I spent good money on! I don't know what stymied me, but I hate that I have no motivation to paint and haven't forced myself to (except for today).

This brings me to my next point: I am too hard on myself. My therapist asked my why I am so critical of myself and I thought, (but did not say) 'if I don't criticize myself, who will?' And that was a revelation! It's like deciding that you are beautiful - when you do, it becomes real - because objective external evaluation doesn't really exist. And no one cares nearly as much about my flaws as I do, probably.

However, I know I worry about some of my friends' flaws more than they do. Like when I was in California and so many people I knew were on drugs, I cared more about their use than they did. And when I see friends who have gained weight to the extent that their health is endangered, or need an exfoliating mask, or who are to marry a less than wonderful person, I care very deeply and try to pray about it. For ideally, one does not give advice unless asked. (Something else I do that I wish I didn't) And really, when something about another person bothers you, it's usually because you see that reflected in yourself. For example, the fat tourists who wear sweatshirts tied around their waist and slowly walk three abreast on the sidewalk annoy me to tears, but that's really because I don't want to be slow-walking and overweight. I should really focus on the positive which is that those tourists have friends to travel with and the time and money to do so. Yay fat tourists!

There are a lot of things I do that other people don't like. Such as, I bite my nails, crack my knuckles, make hocking noises when I spit out toothpaste, hand out altoids, procrastinate, send lots of text messages instead of calling, leave wet tea leaves in the tea pot, don't speak Spanish, don't watch all the Cubs games, wear monochrome button down shirts, drink a lot of wine, leave the cabinet doors open, gobble hors d'oeuvres, put my fingers in my mouth, date people who aren't that into me, date people I'm not that into, won't take public transportation after 10 p.m., talk like a hood rat with my sister, have lots of non-serious medical problems which I then discuss with others, only eat food other people cooked, aaaaaaaaaaaaannnnd refuse to stay at the club past 12:45 a.m. I'm sure there are many more.

So I am coming out as a flawed person, who earnestly tries to do better but can't live up to her own exacting standard.

Best TV Quotes: SNL 'Rock of Love' parody

Bret (Jason Sudekis): (to the camera) This has been the toughest season ever in the two seasons of Rock of Love. I'm just having a devil of a time deciding which one of these smoking hot hotties is my one true love and sex mate. You know, it's days like this that I wish I wasn't Bret Michaels, but I am. So I'm doing what any regular guy would do to find love: have VH1 fill a McMansion in Racita with dicey strippers, put 'em in bikinis and have them smash dirt bikes into each other. What can I say, I'm a romantic.

(Peyton (Kristen Wiig), Christy Jo and Daisy (Tina Fey) are lined up on a platform for elimination.)

Bret: Ladies, this has been a long road, you are all amazing women. One of you has to go home tonight because (sings) Every rose has its thorn...

Daisy: (interview) When I first met Bret I was like, "oh my god, he's the man of my dreams" and I was like "I hope he picks me," and then I was like, "did someone slip something in my drink?" Then I was like, "where am I?" and I was like, "oh yea, we're at Bret's house." (drools champagne on herself)

Bret: (warbles) Just like every night has its dawn....

Peyton: (interview) I'm just getting really scared because Bret and I aren't connecting and that's because Bret and I haven't had enough face time. The only time we did get face time, I tried to kiss him and he pushed my face away. And that guy will make out with anything. One time I saw him make out with a pair of sweat pants. Face time!

Bret: (warbles) Just like every cowboy sings a sad sad song. Every rose has its thorn.

(Amy Poehler hops in)Amber: Yea yea, I'm late. I'm late, who cares. I'm also hot and I'm rockin' one leg, jealous?

Amber: (interview) Here's why I'm gonna win Bret's heart: I can do the worm, I've served jail time, I got mad skin tags, and I'm rockin' one leg, bro! So which one of you bitches is coming in second?

Bret: I've got four beautiful ladies up here and I only got three passes so - (Amber throws something at him) - Hey what was that?
Amber: What, are you blind? It was a chicken McNugget!
Bret: Now Amber, why would you do that?
Amber: Cause I need attention!
Bret: Amber, I gotta tell you, I just can't figure you out.
Amber: Good, I don't wanna be figured out.
Bret: You're very complicated.
Amber: You're very complicated.
Bret: And you've only got one leg...
Amber: Dooooiiiii!
Bret: ...which I've gotta say, I find a little sexy.
Amber: Yea, I know you do.

Christy Jo: (gasping with emotion) I just want to say that I am here for you, Bret!
Daisy: (looks around, surprised) Oh my God, I'm at Bret's house.
Peyton: I just need some face time! (Bret looks disgusted)

Bret: Okay, Big John, can I have the first pass please?
Big John: You got it, Bret Michaels.

Bret: Christy Jo, will you come down here please?
(Christy Jo makes gasping noises)
Bret: Christy Jo, do you promise to stay in this house and continue to rock my world?
Christy Jo: Oh my god, of course, I am so (chokes) here (sobs) for (gasps) you!
Bret: But remember what I told you - I need to get to know the inside of your mouth better.
Christy Jo: (takes mental notes) Okay. okay.
(They slobber and make out)
Bret: Yea, yea.

Bret: Big John, can I have the next pass please?
Big John: Got it right here, Bret Michaels.
Bret: Thank you, Big John

Bret: Peyton, will you come down here please?
Peyton: Face time!
Bret: Alright, here's your pass. Now look, I need to pick three people this week, so you're staying, but I can't reiterate enough how unattracted I am to you. (Peyton leans in to kiss, Bret pushes her face away) No, no.
Peyton: Face time!

Bret: Alright, I've only got one pass left.
Amber: Good, I've only got one leg left.
Bret: Big John.
Big John: (hands him the last pass) Bret Michaels.

Bret: Daisy, will you come down here please?
Bret: Daisy...
Daisy: Yaaaa?
Bret: Daisy, I uh..(Daisy lifts hand to his hair) No no no don't, trust me.
Bret: Look, Daisy, will you stay in this house and continue to rock my world?
Daisy: Oh my god, yaaa, I love you Bret more than anything yaaa (indistinct verbalizing)
(They kiss in nippy way)
Bret: That was good, real good. Felt good, looked good.
Bret: Okay, that was good. Amber, I'm afraid that means your tour ends here.
Amber: Good.
Bret: Will you come down here please?
Amber: Fine, I was going that way anyway. (Farts her way down the steps)
Bret: (in disbelief) Sorry, Amber, are you farting?
Amber: Yea, I farted. Jealous?
Bret: Am I jealous that you're farting? (farts some more) Amber, it's time for you to go.
Amber: Yea, I know it's time for me to go 'cause I'm late. I got a million shows lined up that I'm gonna go hop on over to find love: I love New York, Flavor of Love, Celebrity Rehab, Scott Baio is 50, Tim Gunn, Dog Whisperer, Perfect Shot, Real Housewives, How Clean Is Your House, and Cash Caaaaaaab. Cause you know who's got two thumbs, one leg, and the skills to pay the bills? This guy! Yea booooi! (Falls over)
--
The end.

I transcribed this skit myself (I'd like to thank the Academy and the rewind button on Tivo.) Having watched a lot of the real Rock of Love 2, I am highly amused by how accurate this SNL parody is. Rock of Love was so silly, fake, and exploitative of everyone on it, and yet, like a multiple car crash on the highway, you couldn't look away.

Things I want to do this Summer or before I turn 24 (at the end of the summer)

Alright folks. I like to set goals and since I'm not meeting the ones I had set earlier (job, apartment, graduate school applications, gallery show - and I mean I haven't accomplished one) I have set some new goals. Also thought it might be fun to articulate all those activities and places I want to do this summer.

To do:

• Run 5 miles. I've run three several times, but I haven't run at all in a week and a half. I suspect I'm punishing myself on some level because I also haven't painted. Exercise and painting both make me feel good about myself and it's not happening. Is odd.
• Go to Cyrano's on Wells. I've actually wanted to do this since my sister's graduation party in 2001. I remember it being fabulous and delicious. Plus I think they have a cabaret.
• Find someone with a summer house in Michigan and take advantage of their hospitality.
• Have thin arms. Lifelong goal, no idea how to accomplish it.
• Find my Coach wallet.
• Go to Chicago Summerdance at least once.

Things I like and do not like about Summer

Some things about the summer are wonderful! and some are not. I will try to avoid listing things that vex everyone such as mosquitoes and traffic jams headed to the beach. But!

Je n'aime pas:

1. The red marks on the side of the nose after wearing sunglasses
2. Sun burns (counteracted by always wearing sunscreen. Keeps you cooler too)
3. Tan lines on feet because then your feet just look dirty
4. Restaurants whose sidewalk cafes take up 70% of the sidewalk
5. People standing outside sidewalk cafes waiting for a table taking up another 20% of the sidewalk.
6. Sitting on the beach one can see every errant hair that wasn't shaved/plucked because the sunlight reveals everything. This one should be filed under "things that really bother me but probably shouldn't"
7. Feeling insecure at the beach because you aren't as fit and thin as the people playing perfect volleyball in the sand. This was especially a problem in California. I will never be a size 4! why!!?!
8. Warm bottled water. Have solved this problem by taking coffee-to-go-cups and filling them with ice and water. Mmmm...
9. Ever notice that it is impossible to keep sand off the beach towel? I heard that using two towels draped on each other can prevent that, but I don't believe it. The sand on the towel leads to that other dread problem: sand in the crotch.
10. Can't bake scones or make lasagna because turning on the oven heats up the house intolerably.

Je l'aime beaucoup

1. Sand is a great exfoliator
2. Sidewalk cafes are lovely to sit at
3. Long days of sunshine boost the mood
4. Living in cities one can avoid evil mosquito traps
5. Reading on the beach.
6. Watching happy little kids play in the water. (As long as one doesn't actually go in because of said little kids peeing in the water. Not to mention fish, bugs and slimy things that live in lakes and oceans)
7. Iced treats
8. Vacation time!
9. Everyone generally in good mood.
10. Excuse for lazing about and doing nothing.
11. Excuse to not cook but order in as is "too hot to cook" (Let other people sweat in steamy kitchens)
12. Compelling reason to exercise so as to not have excess body fat which keeps you warmer and desire to not look like vanilla pudding at the beach.
13. Longer days mean longer time to sit on roof drinking iced margaritas. Mmmm....

Calling all Friends!

My best friend in Chicago is moving to New York this fall for Law School. Awk! I will miss her terribly! But am very happy for her future and guaranteed success. oooh we must have a spectacular going away party. So all friends! Hear this: Your attendance is required at a fabulous farewell party in August.

Also hope I will see you frequently this fall so I don't die of loneliness. Thanks friends.

Celtics Win!

The Boston Celtics won big time tonight against the LA Lakers 131-92 which makes this the Celtic's 17th NBA championship. Hurrah!

Even though I spent four years in LA and none in Boston, I was pulling for the Celtics (though the fact that the team name is mispronounced continues to upset me) mostly because I can't stand Kobe Bryant. His attitude made Shaq leave. Shaq! Who starred in Kazzam? Who could be harder to piss off than fuzzy-good-times star of all those sweet cereal commercials, Shaquille O'Neal?

Most of all, I dislike Kobe because he cheated on his wife (probably more than once) and damaged another woman in the process. And he ugly.
Of course, it does not speak well of Mrs. Bryant that she accepted the $4 million ring he gave her AND stayed with him! Hunh. (What's up with scorned women standing by their "men"?)

Great Inventions of the 20th Century: Contact Lenses

There are certain things in this world that I am uber grateful for, among them are contact lenses, air conditioning and birth control. But let's focus on the history of contact lenses today.

The idea has been around since the Renaissance. Scholars attribute Leonardo da Vinci's Codex of the Eye as the first model for a contact lens. However, a lens that would fit comfortably in a person's eye wasn't possible until the advent of squishy plastics.
Czech chemist, Otto Wichterle, is the father of modern contact lenses. He produced the first hydrogel lenses in 1961, and the US FDA approved them for general use in 1971.

Best Movie Quotes: The First Wives Club

So the First Wives Club is full of memorable lines some of the best ones are spoken by Goldie Hawn's character, Elise Eliot, who mourns the passing of good roles to younger actresses to the bartender at the St. Regis hotel:

Elise: I'm not Monique's Mother!
Maurice: No.
Elise: Angela Lansbury's Monique's Mother!
Maurice: Uh-huh.
Elise: Shelley Winters is Monique's mother!
Maurice: Now that's a good one.
Elise: Sean Connery is Monique's mother!
Maurice: I'm going to get you some coffee.
Elise: No, Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend! He's three hundred years old, but he's still a stud!
Elise: I'm unhappy, Maurice!
Maurice: And I'm going to get you that coffee.

Awww poor Elise. It's still hysterically funny.

The Reason for Politics, according to Osamu Dazai

I was reading "The Setting Sun" by Osamu Dazai. It is set in Japan during the early postwar years. At the end of the novel, the heroine, Kazuko, shares her opinion of the meaning of life:

"Recently I have come to understand why such things as war, peace, unions, trade, politics, exist in the world. I don't suppose you know. That's why you will always be unhappy. I'll tell you why - it is so that women will give birth to healthy babies." (172)

I shared this with my mother and she reflected that is a profound thought. Interesting.

Great Songs: Anyone Else But You

Hello Friends,

Today I was listening to the song "Anyone Else But You" from the Juno Soundtrack. The version performed at the end of the film by Michael Cera and Ellen Page has the following lyrics:

You’re a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on your back is the latest trend
I don’t see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
We both have shiny happy fits of rage
I want more fans, you want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
You are always trying to keep it real
I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you



The part I really like is "you're a part time lover and a full time friend" because that is my ideal dynamic in a relationship. The friendship has to be the strongest, the basis of it all, but one still needs the kiss/romance part.

I guess I feel most comfortable wearing the two hats of lover/friend and seamlessly switching between the two. Perhaps that is my shyness but it really seems to work best for me.
I really don't like the idea of becoming a woman who gives up her life and interests to center herself around a man. Sounds sad and dull, doesn't it?

I also like the line We sure are cute for two ugly people because it suggests the redeeming, transformative power of love. Love really removes the focus from oneself to another human being and that has the power to change a person beyond all expectations. Like when a parent holds a newborn baby for the first time and feels all petty irritations melt away in the realization that this tiny being is their reason for life.

I really think that saddest thing is to feel separated from love, because that is to be separated from God. And to be separated from God/Love is what the Bible means by "hell."

On an unrelated note, I would take a bullet for Barack Obama.

Best Movie Quotes: The Ladies Man

The Ladies Man (2000) is one of the funniest movies because of Tim Meadows and his avatar, the happy-go-lucky, salacious love guru, Leon Phelps. I laugh every time Leon lisps something which is good because the plot is silly - I don't even think about it when I watch the Ladies Man.
This is the poem Leon reads on his radio show that gets him fired:

Leon Phelps: What is love? What is this longing in our hearts for togetherness? Is it not the sweetest flower? Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine diamonds? Does not the wind love the dirt? Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to? Are you with someone tonight? Do not question your love. Take your lover by the hand. Release the power within yourself. Your heard me, release the power. Tame the wild cosmos with a whisper. Conquer heaven with one intimate caress. That's right don't be shy. Whip out everything you got and do it in the butt. By Leon Phelps
--------

Leon Phelps: My name is Leon Phelps, and to those of you that are uninitiated, I am an expert in the ways of love. I have made love to many fine ladies from the lowliest bus station skank to the classiest most sophisticated, educated, debutant, high society... bus station skank.

My little sister and I would quote this movie all the time which was rather inappropriate in mixed company.
-----
Leon Phelps: Listen, I was wandering. Can I ask you a question? Uh... was your father a meat burgler? Here's why I ask: because it looks like somebody stole two fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress.
-----
Soul Station Manager: Mr. Phelps, I see you've listed "dabut" under your hobbies?
Leon Phelps: Yeah, that's "da butt." I also enjoy tennis.
--------

Cultivating Happiness

I read a magazine article about cultivating happiness that I thought was interesting. The idea is that you can train yourself to be a positive thinker, which allegedly is all you need to be happy. (What? Not fancy shoes and cappuccinos?) The author suggested ways to "hone happiness skills." And I paraphrase:

1. Make positive thinking a regular part of your schedule and recognize your own role in making good things happen. Interesting...
   
1. Before bed write down three things that went really well during the day. Then write why that good thing happened.
2. Savor a beautiful day
1. Pick a date within the next two weeks to design a perfect day and to carry it out. Use "savoring" techniques like sharing it with another person, keeping souvenirs and losing killjoy thinking.
3. Gratitude visit
1. Write a letter to a person about why they are meaningful to you and then visit them to tell them about your gratitude.

While I think the third one is rather sappy, I will try the first and the second. Let's see, three things that went well yesterday...

1. I got a cute haircut. That happened because I did research the night before to find a picture of exactly the type of hair style I wanted and I asked my friends for their opinions on what would be flattering. It also happened because I went to Resolutions 2008 and received a hair cut and make up application gift certificate from Charles Ifergen. Very nice!
2. I went to a job interview in the far-flung suburbs. That happened because I had the new hair style and make up which gave me the confidence to face people who would judge me up and down and all around. The interview did go well despite transportation tangles! Boy was I happy to get home.
3. Later that night, my mother and I went to a swish Mexican restaurant and had delicious quesadillas with mushrooms and guacamole, and margaritas. We were celebrating the successful completion of the job interview. Yay! Lots of fun.

So after that exercise do I feel more positive about my life? Perhaps. I guess one has to stick with it for a while to see if it works. As for a perfect day - I know that involves breakfast (cafe au lait and raspberry scone) at Bombon Cafe sitting under an umbrella. It also involves reading in the park or playing at the beach. Hopefully fun times with friends or boyfriend. Lots to think about with this one. Do let me know if you have any thoughts.

Me and My Windex Part deux

Today I refilled my wee bottle of windex.
I have absolutely nothing of importance to do today except celebrate my BFF's full scholarship to a great law school. You go girl! No, really you go, get yourself to New York.

Best Movie Quotes: Talladega Nights

Talladega Nights (2006) is one of the funniest movies ever made.

Ricky Bobby: Here's the deal I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
----------
Reese Bobby: There's nothing more frightening then driving with a live goddamn cougar next to you.
----------
Chip: I can't hold my tongue. These kids are my grandchildren and you are raising them wrong. They are *terrible* boys!
Walker: Shut up, Chip, or I'll go ape-shit on your ass!
Texas Ranger: I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah!
Ricky Bobby: Yeah! Now turn up the heat!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Go on and get some, boys!
Ricky Bobby: Come on!
Walker: I'm ten years old, but I'll beat your ass!
Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Like a spider monkey! Go on!
Ricky Bobby: Chip, you brought this on, man.
Walker: Greatest Generation my ass. Tom Brokaw's a punk!
Chip: What is wrong with you?
Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!
----------
Reese Bobby: [walks into the classroom] Excuse me, darling. I'm Reese Bobby. I'm here for career day with my son, Ricky.
10-year-old Ricky: Dad!
Reese Bobby: Hey there, boy! Man, you got big. How long's it been? Three, four months?
10-year-old Ricky: Ten years.
Reese Bobby: Ten years? Man, I gotta lay off the peyote.
[puts a cigarette in his mouth]
Schoolteacher: Mr. Bobby, there's no smoking in here.
Reese Bobby: Oh, it's all right, darling, I'm a volunteer fireman. Okay, I am a semi-professional racecar driver and an amateur tattoo artist.
Classmates: OOO0HHHH!
Reese Bobby: And the first thing you gotta learn if you're gonna be a racecar driver, is that you don't listen to losers like your know-it-all teacher here.
Schoolteacher: Okay, I think that's enough.
Reese Bobby: Your teacher wants you to go slow, and she's wrong because it's the fastest who get paid and it's the fastest who get laid.

LMAO----------
Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to picture Jesus as a figure skater. He wears like a white outfit, and He does interpretive ice dances of my life's journey.
----------
My best friend Lauren and I used to say "shake and bake" to each other all the time. Kind of silly but it worked for us. Here is the original quote in context:
-----------
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake!
Ricky Bobby: What does that do? Does that blow your mind? That just happened!
Jean Girard: Is that a catchphrase or epilepsy?

There I have finally done my long anticipated post on Talladega Nights. You are welcome.

Adorable Things Children Do

I babysit a lot and am frequently delighted by things little ones say and do.

For example, the 9 month old baby I take care of on Thursdays has taken to pulling himself up from a sitting position by clutching at my jeans (they are a rather baggy pair of Luckys). I will be standing up, helping his toddler sister with something and little Isaac will clutch, clutch clutch until he has climbed up my jeans into a standing position. Then he looks up at me with a huge smile, so proud of himself! It's adorable.

Best Movie Quotes: Gilda

I love love love the 1946 film Gilda starring Rita Hayworth and Glenn Ford. Do rent it immediately and be prepared for film noir at its most glamorous. In addition to beautiful people the movie has witty dialogue between the hateful former lovers Johnny Farrell (Glenn Ford) and Gilda Mundson (Rita Hayworth) For instance:
Johnny Farrell: Doesn't it bother you at all that you're married? Gilda: What I want to know is, does it bother you?

Ballin Mundson (Gilda's husband): Gilda, are you decent? Gilda: Me? [long pause] Sure. I'm decent.

Johnny is writhing with jealousy throughout most of the film. Gilda taunts him buy going off with other men. As the wife of his boss, Ballin Mundson, Johnny tries to keep Gilda within the bounds of propriety.
Johnny Farrell: Pardon me, but your husband is showing.

Gilda is a bad ass. I want to be just like her when I grow up. (Hmm how do I get 1940s hair and amazing features?)

Black is the New President, Bitch

It's official - Obama is the nominee! Grand celebration a la V-J Day.
To celebrate I turn to Tracy Morgan's prophetic words on Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update of March 15, 2008:

"Three weeks ago my friend, Tina Fey, she came on the show and she declared that bitch was the new black. You know I love you, Tina Fey. You are a first-class bitch. [ laughter ] I have something to say. Bitch may be the new black, but black is the new president, bitch!" [ laughter, cheers and applause ]

Tina Fey was making a pro-Clinton statement by saying that "bitch is the new black." However, as fashion history has taught us time and time again, black is the only new black. No other color, style, fabric, or design ever takes the place of black. There may be a flirtation with pink, orange or Olivier Theyskins, but in the end classic black endures.

Me and My Windex

I love Windex. Don't try to separate me and my Windex. My mother gets mad because I leave the bottle around the house, but really, isn't it better to have it out at all times in case you spill something or find a grease spot on the desk? I wholeheartedly agree. I have a mini-bottle of windex that I keep in the car and I really need one for my purse so I can surreptitiously clean behind people's backs.

I really feel like I am doing a service to the world when I wipe away long-settled dust or organize a bookshelf. The only place I don't like to clean is the kitchen because it always gets dirty again and happens to be very disgusting on a regular basis.

This is probably the most personal, likely-to-be-critcized thing that I will admit on these pages. So yuk it up, clowns.

James McAvoy is relentlessly Hot

James McAvoy looks good in all his movies but playing a WWII soldier in Atonement he is at his most egregiously sexy. (Something about a man in uniform...)

When he opens his mouth to talk, British/Scottish accented words spill out in an fountain of gorgeousness. Ugh. I need to go to bed.

I dated a James once. He was nothing like this.

Giant Rocks

Everywhere young women (not much older than I) wear enormous diamond engagement rings on their left hands. I see these glistening, multi-carat diamonds and doubt that anyone will ever love me enough to give me a beautiful ring. Not that I would want such an extravagance predicated on the horrendous mining industry; I would rather have an engagement piano.
Perhaps I am feeling nostalgic after reading Atonement.

I am a sucker for the sweeping romance of the star-crossed-lovers variety.

For example, in Atonement, Robbie is a British soldier in France fighting the Nazis. He and Cecilia have been in love for four years but separated by cruel misfortune. Their romance is carried out through longterm correspondence as illustrated below:

Robbie Turner: [voiceover] Dearest Cecilia, the story can resume. The one I had been planning on that evening walk. I can become again the man who once crossed the Surrey park at dusk, in my best suit, swaggering on the promise of life. The man who, with the clarity of passion, made love to you in the library. The story can resume. I will return. Find you, love you, marry you and live without shame.

Gosh those last lines really get to me. Robbie knows what he wants - to marry the woman he loves. No commitment-phobia, no shilly-shallying, and no hesitation. Remarkable.

Earlier in the film, Cecilia realizes her antagonism toward Robbie is really the frustration of thwarted love. When she discovers this she says to him in the library:

Cecilia Tallis: [crying] I don't know how I could've been so ignorant about myself... so... so stupid. And you know what I'm talking about, don't you? You knew before I did. Robbie Turner: Why're you crying? Cecilia Tallis: Don't you know?
Robbie Turner: Yes, I know exactly. [kisses her]

When people/lovers can understand each other without words...that is truly beautiful. Blast. Think I'll go smoke an imaginary cigarette.

Best Movie Quotes: Knocked Up

In Knocked Up (2007), Ben Stone and his friends discuss the awesome movie "Munich" and the pride they subsequently feel gives them the courage to talk to ladies and inadvertently inseminate them.

Ben Stone: “You know what movie I just saw again the other day, which is just fucking mindblowing? Munich.’”

Friends: “‘Munich!"

Ben Stone: “That movie has Eric Bana kicking ass. Every movie with Jews, we’re the ones getting killed. ‘Munich’ flips it on its ear. We’re capping [people].”

Jonah: “Not only killing, but taking names.”

Ben Stone: “If any of us get laid tonight it’s because of Eric Bana and ‘Munich.’”

Martin: Whatever. I'm glad I'm not a Jew.

Ben Stone: So are we...
Ben Stone: You weren't chosen for a reason."

hahahahaha
I wasn't chosen either but I still appreciate.

Best Movie Quotes: Blades of Glory

Blades of Glory (2007) stars Will Ferrell as Chazz Michael Michaels and Jon Heder as Jimmy McElroy. They are rival male figure skaters who pair up in order to compete.

Jimmy: So, Coach, I was thinking about the music for our routine.
Coach: Oh, really?
Chazz: We're gonna dance to one song, and one song only: "Lady Humps" by the Black-Eyed Peas. "What you gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk? I’m a get you, get you drunk, get you drunk off my lady humps, my humps, my humps, my lovely lady humps."
Jimmy: [disgusted] I'm not skating to anything with references to lady humps. I don't even know what that means.
Chazz: No one knows what it means, but it's provocative...
Jimmy: No, it's not, it's gross...
Chazz: ...It gets the people going!


Love it love it love it. Side splitting comedy. Unless you are like my Mom who can't stand anything with Will Ferrell.