Best TV Quotes: Stay out of Vietnam

A Message From the President of the United States

President George Bush (Dana Carvey)
George Bush: Good evening. Happy holidays to you all. Once against it's that festive season. Tonight our Jewish friends observe the fifth night of Hanukkah, the celebration of a military victory won centuries ago in a part of the world where today 400,000 brave Americans await my order to annihilate Iraq. None of us want war in that whole area out over there. But as commander-in-chief, I am ever cognizant of my authority to launch a full-scale orgy of death there in the desert sands. Probably won't, but then again, I might.

And if we do go to war, I can assure you---it will not be another Vietnam. Because we learned well the simple lesson of Vietnam: "Stay out of Vietnam." They'll beat you bad, b-a-a-d.

But this time is different, because the world is behind us. Critics say, why is the U.S. doing all the work? Not true. Seventy-eight countries are contributing to Operation Desert Shield. Not all are sending troops---sure. But giving what they are able. From Belgium, nylon helmet covers. From New Zealand, socks, ranging from sizes six through twelve. Six is small. Twelve, that's big. Me, I'm a ten and a half. Could wear a ten. Wouldn't be prudent. From the Congo, Ray-Ban sunglasses---two pair. From Yugoslavia, men's swimming trunks. From Mexico, salsa. And the list goes on. You see, world behind us, not like Vietnam.

And this time, our strike will be swift and deadly. I know you're watching, Saddam. And time is running out. The deadline---the morning of January fifteenth. One month from today. And when that morning dawns, you won't be hearing the chirping birds. You'll be hearing something very different---something like this...
[Bomb whistle]
George Bush: Then nuthin'. You wait---KABOOM! Then...
[Bomb whistle]
George Bush: ---nuthin', you're lucky it's a dud. Then---
[Bomb whistle]
George Bush: ---KABOOM! Short fuse, heh, heh, heh. And finally the last thing you'll hear as you pass into oblivion: "Live From New York, It's Saturday Night!"

Dana Carvey as George H.W. Bush is one of the funnier presidential impersonations from Saturday Night Live. The line that is particularly relevant is 'We learned our lesson from Vietnam, Stay Out of Vietnam!" because that is the only lesson the Bush administration learned. It's as if fighting unnecessary wars in foreign countries to topple fearsome dictators who aren't actually a threat to America is an action taken on a case by case basis. And it is not! Going to war is an action that should never be taken - except in the case of fighting the Axis/Nazi/Fascist/Imperial Powers in World War II. I know all of this has already been said by people more funny and eloquent than myself but I had to reiterate it anyway: War profits no one.
I also like Mahatma Gandhi's quote about this: "What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?"

Mahatma Gandhi (1869 - 1948), "Non-Violence in Peace and War"

Worth thinking about.